Friday, May 21

Giving it up

I started cleaning a lot of junk out of my closets last night. It's amazing how many things can get accumulated over time! All I had time to declutter were two baskets and it was amazing how much trash I piled up and even a small pile for donations. But probably more suprising were the small nuggets of treasures that I found. When I was eighteen I got my ears pierced for the first time. Last night I found the original very, very small diamond studs that did the job. And here I thought they were lost forever! I used to wear them almost everyday because they went with absolutely everything, of course. Plus, the more I tried different earrings, I realized my ears were finicky and needed quality or I would suffer with earlobe infections. Yuck! I can't believe how excited I am to wear them again! And speaking of quality, I also managed to find a couple of pieces of gold jewelry of mine and even my husband's. You know, those gold bands so many of us wore back in middle school and high school that we used to think made us look so cool? Yeah, you know. My husband's were the thick, bulky ones that rappers might still like nowadays, but that's about all. But hey, turns out those silly things might make us some money (albeit small, but money nonetheless). Turns out gold is pretty expensive these days or so the hubby tells me. It's worth looking into.

I have to say, though, as rewarding as last night was, it's still a daunting task to continue clearing out all my clutter. And I've only barely started with my closet so far! Maybe it's only me, but what makes us hold onto all those dear, precious possessions that eventually over time will only get discarded or misplaced? Or pushed back into the darkest corners of our closets never again to see the light? I have so many piles of things I've saved for scrapbooking over the years, that if I ever would get to making them, there's no way I'll remember what half of the stuff is even for by now.

After all of that work in the bedroom closet, it seemed only fitting that God seemed to wake me up early this morning for some decluttering in the dark recesses of the closet of my mind, as well. Only, I was less than thrilled with the prospect. I tried hard to fall back asleep. Why does that never work when one wants it to? At least with stuff you can make the keep, trash, and give away piles and be done. It doesn't work so easy with one's thoughts. We don't have one of those handy-dandy trash buttons that we can click, drag and drop all of our past hurts, feelings and insecurities into. Wouldn't that be nice?

Or do we?

This morning I trudged through things I haven't thought of for fifteen years or more. Like last night, I could almost physically feel myself pulling out one corner basket of experiences. Some things I haven't even admitted to anyone before. Feelings of shame and failure were flooding over me. I was drowning, and nothing in my power could rescue me. One basket, but it was heavy. Too heavy. Heavier than I could handle. I felt myself getting so overwhelmed as things gushed over and out into my memory and I wasn't sure what I could do next. Until I heard it. "Give it to Me." Sweetly and oh, so gently the Lord nudged my heart. "Yes, it's mine to bear. I can handle it." Willingly, and without complaint or fear, He let me lay my load on His shoulders.

That's when I realized. There are really only two choices. Keep or give away. God has given us the option to give everything over to Him. I Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you." (NIV) He actually wants to take the burden for us. We're the ones that so desperately cling to things thinking that, like my scrapbooking, we may need it or deal with it sometime later. God knows what we need and don't need. Why not let him make the choice instead of us?

So, it may not seem like we have a convenient little trash button that we can just empty at will. But, in reality, we have something way better and much more powerful! God is more than willing to take our troubles and fears. Yes, He's up for the "challenge." We are the ones that fight and scream through the process, trying to hang on to whatever it is we're battling with. But, if we really want to, God is always there patiently waiting for us to hand it over to Him.

His words ring true in my heart -

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christs' power may rest on me." II Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Psalm 55:22 "Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." (NASB)

Psalm 37:24 "Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand." (KJV)

Now, I know Josh is just wishing that I would give all of my "junk" in the closet (and everywhere else for that matter) over to him as well! :) Sorry, love, not this time!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey there Jess, that was a great post and something that will be staying on my mind. Hope you are doing well. My sister said she saw you at the store the other week and didn't remember my email. musicboxbelle@yahoo.com I would love to catch up with you sometime! Lauren